Just fell off a train. Bad.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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