i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
