the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
