Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
