What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
