So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize