i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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