I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
