she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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