you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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