Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
