Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
