so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize