Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
