He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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