Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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