I'm going to jail i love you
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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