woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
