I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
