1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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