i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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