hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I understand Curling. That high.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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