Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
