Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
