K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i was born a porn star she said
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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