she told me i tasted like america
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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