VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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