I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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