How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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