Dude my mom stole all your condoms
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
