She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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