My sheets look like a crime scene.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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