ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
