i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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