My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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