Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
