Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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