the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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