You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
time to smoke my breakfast
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
