mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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