I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
