She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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