You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
