if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
