batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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