How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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