I faked an abortion last night.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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