i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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