Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
