just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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