so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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