Kiss
Puke
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
