i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
