just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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