if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
