That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
