I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Floor bacon is actually really good
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize