You're so nebulous sometimes
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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