the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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