just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i've created a new STD.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
