So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
