I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
