We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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