She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize