so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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