Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
