Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
